Key Highlights:
- Elden Ring might be full of creatures trying to kill you, but some of its characters are impossible not to get attached to.
- My list includes a turtle pope, sentient jars, one incredibly overworked horse and even a group of enemies I still think are adorable.
- These are the seven characters I became weirdly protective of during my time in the Lands Between.
Quick Links:
Elden Ring might be full of creatures trying to kill you, but some of its characters are impossible not to get attached to.
My list includes a turtle pope, sentient jars, one incredibly overworked horse and even a group of enemies I still think are adorable.
These are the seven characters I became weirdly protective of during my time in the Lands Between.
Elden Ring is not exactly a game built around feeling safe.
Most things you meet either want to kill you, manipulate you, disappear halfway through their questline or leave you wondering whether you accidentally ruined their entire life three hours ago.
That only makes the genuinely lovable characters stand out more.
After hundreds of hours in the Lands Between, there are certain NPCs and creatures I have become far too attached to.
Some of them are genuinely sweet, some are ridiculous, and a few probably do not technically qualify as people I should be trying to protect at all.
I do not care.
If the Lands Between insists on being miserable, I am choosing my favourites and keeping them safe.
No. 7 — Serosh
This is probably the strangest choice on the list, but I am standing by it.
Serosh is the huge spectral lion carried on Godfrey’s back, helping restrain the warrior who was once known as Hoarah Loux.
He is essentially there to keep Godfrey’s bloodlust under control and allow him to behave like the first Elden Lord rather than a man whose preferred solution to most problems is wrestling them into the floor.
Then you reach Godfrey’s late-game fight and everything goes horribly wrong for poor Serosh.
When Godfrey decides he no longer needs that restraint, he grabs Serosh and tears him away before returning fully to being Hoarah Loux.
I know I was supposed to be worrying about the enormous man standing in front of me who was about to start throwing me around like a toy, but instead I was genuinely upset about the lion.
Serosh had spent all that time helping this man keep his murderous tendencies under control, and that was his reward?
I felt terrible for him.
You first properly encounter Serosh alongside Godfrey during the late-game fight near the Elden Throne in Leyndell, Ashen Capital.
No. 6 — The Albinaurics
The Albinaurics are one of those things in Elden Ring that somehow manage to be incredibly sad and ridiculously cute at the same time.
Their actual story is awful.
They are artificial lifeforms who are treated horribly throughout the Lands Between, and once you start paying attention to their lore, it becomes difficult not to feel sorry for them.
Unfortunately, FromSoftware then gave some of them giant grey heads, tiny little faces and the general appearance of sad potatoes.
I cannot help it. They are adorable.
Even when one is attacking me, there is a part of my brain going, look at his little face.
It gets even worse once you realise you can actually wear an Albinauric Mask, meaning Elden Ring allows you to run around with one of those enormous heads on your own character.
The lore is tragic. The helmet is hilarious.
Both things can apparently be true at once.
They are exactly the sort of Elden Ring creatures I am supposed to take seriously, yet somehow I just want to collect them and put them somewhere safe.
One of the first major places you can encounter the Albinaurics and learn more about them is the Village of the Albinaurics in southern Liurnia of the Lakes.
No. 5 — Leonard
Poor, poor Leonard.
Starscourge Radahn is one of the most intimidating figures in Elden Ring. He is enormous, powerful enough to hold back the stars and capable of firing himself across a battlefield like a meteor.
And underneath all of that is one tiny horse doing his absolute best.
Leonard already looks hilariously small underneath Radahn, but learning why Radahn still rides him somehow makes it sweeter.
Radahn learned gravity magic so he could continue riding his beloved horse despite growing to an absolutely ridiculous size.
That detail completely changed the way I looked at their boss fight.
Instead of only seeing this terrifying demigod charging towards me, I also started watching Leonard’s tiny legs underneath him and thinking, somebody please give this horse a day off.
He has been through enough.
I know Radahn clearly loves him, but Leonard is carrying a man approximately the size of a building across a battlefield while said man is shooting arrows, swinging gigantic swords and occasionally launching himself into space.
Protect the horse.
You first meet Leonard during the Starscourge Radahn boss fight in the Wailing Dunes, reached through Redmane Castle in Caelid.
No. 4 — Roderika
Roderika is one of the few characters in Elden Ring whose story feels quietly hopeful, which might be why I became so attached to her.
When you first meet her, she is frightened, grieving and unsure of herself.
She has lost the people who travelled with her and does not seem to believe there is much she can actually offer anyone.
Once she reaches Roundtable Hold, that slowly begins to change.
With Hewg’s help, Roderika discovers her talent for spirit tuning and gradually finds somewhere she belongs.
She does not suddenly become some fearless warrior or legendary hero.
She simply realises she has something valuable to contribute, and I loved watching that happen.
On my first playthrough, after burning the Erdtree, one of the first things I did was go back and check on Roderika.
That probably says everything about how attached I had become to her by then.
Elden Ring had already taught me that NPCs have an alarming habit of disappearing, dying or ending up somewhere terrible, so my immediate thought was basically, where is Roderika?
Is she okay?
I genuinely just wanted her to survive everything happening around her and keep the little life she had finally managed to build.
You first meet Roderika at Stormhill Shack in Limgrave.
No. 3 — Boc the Seamster
Boc the Seamster triggered every protective instinct I had almost immediately.
He is timid, insecure and desperately wants to be useful.
He is not chasing power, trying to become Elden Lord or asking you to retrieve some horrifying ancient artefact. Boc simply wants to help.
Once he begins altering your garments, he is so genuinely proud that he can do something for you that I immediately decided he was staying under my protection.
His story gets even harder to watch once you realise how badly he sees himself.
There are moments during Boc’s quest where you can see just how desperately he wants to be accepted, and I spent most of it wanting to grab him by the shoulders and tell him he did not need to become anybody else.
He is doing brilliantly.
He can fix my clothes forever.
Nobody needs to touch him.
In a world full of demigods fighting over shards of the Elden Ring, Boc is just a sweet little seamster trying to find somewhere he belongs, and somehow that made me care about him more than half the supposedly important people in the game.
You first find Boc near Agheel Lake North in Limgrave, where he has been transformed and is calling out for help.
No. 2 — The Living Jars
Yes, I am counting an entire group.
The Living Jars have tiny arms, tiny legs and enormous ceramic bodies.
That is enough.
Iron Fist Alexander is obviously the most memorable of them, especially when you first meet him stuck in the ground and have to repeatedly smack him until he pops back out, but my affection extends to basically every jar in Elden Ring.
Jarburg only made the situation worse.
After spending hours wandering through areas where absolutely everything wants you dead, suddenly arriving somewhere filled with little jars simply existing feels almost suspiciously wholesome.
I immediately wanted to live there.
Are some Living Jars hostile?
Yes.
Do some of them want to kill me?
Also yes.
I am choosing to overlook these minor personality flaws.
They are pots.
Look at them.
Even knowing what is actually inside the jars does surprisingly little to reduce how adorable I find them.
I think Elden Ring could put one directly in front of me with a weapon and a health bar and I would still hesitate before hitting it.
You can first meet Alexander near Saintsbridge in northern Limgrave, where he is stuck in the ground waiting for somebody to give him a good whack.
No. 1— Miriel
There was never any competition for first place.
Miriel, Pastor of Vows, better known by the far more important title of Turtle Pope, is completely untouchable.
He is a gigantic peaceful tortoise wearing a little mitre who lives at the Church of Vows, teaches sorceries and incantations and happily explains pieces of Elden Ring’s history while the rest of the Lands Between tears itself apart.
He is perfect.
I do not care what build you are running.
I do not care whether you just found a new spell and desperately need something large to test it on.
I do not care if you have decided this is your evil playthrough and everyone must die.
Not Turtle Pope.
There are limits.
Miriel never gives me any reason to distrust him, never sends me into some horrifying underground nightmare and never suddenly turns around and reveals that he has been manipulating me for the last twenty hours.
He simply sits in his church, shares his knowledge and wears his tiny hat.
Nobody may touch him.
You can first find Miriel at the Church of Vows in eastern Liurnia of the Lakes.
Elden Ring has demigods, witches, legendary warriors and enough tragic questlines to emotionally damage a player several times over.
My own protection list somehow ended up containing a giant tortoise, sentient crockery, a nervous seamster, a spirit tuner, a tiny overworked horse, some sad grey potato people and a lion attached to an enormous man.
I regret nothing.
The Lands Between might be beyond saving.
These seven are not.
